The Lost Tears...

i had been feeling quite depressed today. haiz. consequently, i had no mood to chat nor do any other things. ""what had happened?"" this was the question my caring friends or maybe.. kpc friends asked me just now. but since i was too moody to chat, i either didnt reply (at that time my sister was using the computer also, by the way) or i didnt say anything much besides shooing them off (forgive me)

so, like i said earlier, a very depressing and upsetting incident occurred... i lost something VERYYYY precious to me... (nop. not my ''V''. i still have it with me. lol)

maybe.. i had lost it a few days ago.. or maybe it had been weeks.. sooo foolish and of me not to realize it until yesterday night.. all these while i thought it was still safe in the plastic bag i put it in, and i didnt bother to check.. it was broken, you see, and i couldnt wear it with me..

it had been a part of my body since jun2006 and i treasure it veryyy much.. after all.. its the first and only present one of my best friend had ever bestowed me. moreover, it signify the friendship between me and another best friend...

i love it sooo greatly and though it had lost its shine and luster, i still hang it around my neck proudly as though it costs me a million. i had had a lot of experience with it and it had always been with me through hard and easy time.

i know maybe its just a ''thing'' and i may had exaggerated a little, but as i said, it is a symbol of ''Christ'' HImself and having it, it is as though this verse came to life. ''For God says, 'I will never leave nor forsake you'. (hebrews 13:5)

however, on one fateful day. the pendant got worn out and damaged till it is impossible to wear it anymore without fixing it back first. i was so thankful that at least i knew it dropped (i was out working at that time in 1u) at that time and had been able to pick it up or i will then lose it forever.

but.. remorsefully... i had not taken the trouble to fix it since that time, but had just kept it in a place i thought was safe until....i finally realize i.. lost it.... i dont know how it will just disappear.. maybe.. it was me myself who threw the bag away or it may had been my mom who just love to come and pack our rooms...

but according to my mom, she had seen it a few days ago and so would not had thrown it away.. she had also been very sorta ''remorseful'' ( i dont know a suitable word to describe) and had been looking over and over in my room for a few hours..

i had been very frustrated and angry this morning (thanks to my dad who kept scolding bout my beginner driving skills this morning while i drive) and once back home, i released my anger and started finding the pendant while my mom just looked at me. she had searched for it while i was out but to no avail.

then. as i realized she rearranged all my stuffs, i raised my voice and accused her of throwing my stuffs away before i found them back (in another place of course) this made her very angry too and she stopped talking to me.
subsequently, i went to sleep in order to cool myself down and upon waking up, i realized i had been very selfish.

first of all, i had no right to scold my mom for packing my room. after all, its in quite a mess and she had always been pesturing me to tidy it up. secondly, i had no proof that it was she who threw it away. thirdly, and most importantly, i was touched that she continued to search for it while i was asleep.

before this, i overheard her asking my sis the value and importance of the necklace, and my sis answered its just from my best friend and its nothing expensive.

but.. she was also angry with me and insisted on not talking to me first. haha.. she IS this childish. she thinks that she is a mother and wont take the first step (though maybe in some circumstances. she is in the wrong) but, then, as i talked to her, everything turned normal again.

but.. i still cant find it back.. or maybe... this is destiny and it is fateful for me to lose it?? i dont know.. or maybe.. it is still in hidden away somewhere in the house.. and when the time comes.. it will appear once again... what i can do now.. maybe.. is just to wait...

A Drifter Once Again...

i miss my job soo much!! and it just ended bout 2 days ago... actually, yesterday should be my last day, but i took a day off in order to be able to send my cousin off at klia in the afternoon. but... how will i know that the plan to klia was cancelled in the end..

klia is too far and my drving skills itself disallowed me to drive alone there, not to mention i dont have a car at all. sigh. my cousin comes back once a year only and this time, i only got to see her twice. -_-

but since i got a microphone already, maybe i can always skype with her online. she has been pestering me bout it since last year itself. and now thanks to one of my ''singaporean' friend, i finally got one.

so... i ''lost'' rm120 for not working. haiz.. maybe i should had worked...but what can i say? whats done is done... it had been so long since i could spend time with my families... so.. anyway. that will be my last job before i will ever find one again...

and i will soon post some pictures of my ''chai huey'' colleague and my cousin. she maybe a ''twin soul'' of chai huey.. haha.. she is also very sentimental. callled me dear and said we seemed to know each others for 5 years and asked me not to forget her and etc. =)

The return of the sifu. =)

hi! i have returned!! haha.. though i said i wont anymore, but well.. maybe once in a while will just blog this and that. so.. this 2 weeks had been rather interesting as i started work... as a promoseur. haha.. i know this word may sound foreign for some of you. let me explain. it is a fusion of the word promoter and masseur.. lol. yes i am REALLY working as a promoseur. you see, the brand is tiger balm, so for customers who bought more than rm10, a free massage will be bestowed.

on the first day, i was still quite afraid and asked my colleague to do it instead (he taught me some techniques he ''invented'' in the morning itself- my sifu??) when the first rm10 customer came. then for the rest of the day, no more massage. hehe.. not because no customer but when there were some who were already determined to buy, we didnt use this promotion to lure them. (hey!! we are not cheating!! we did write on a piece of paper. so maybe its them who didnt see it or they dont want it) =)

anyway, its quite tiring you know. for us to promote and also massage. haha.. by the way this job is quite lenient. i can sit when i was tired. so unlike my previous g2 work which fires any worker who sit during working hours. (but there is no staff purchase for this one. lol)

then, on the second and third day, i massaged quite a number that i lost count. =) and guess what? they said it was comfortable!!! haha! i waas so happy!! overjoyed that i didnt fracture or strain it instead!! lol. some even asked me where i learnt it from. =)

then, before work, i was quite worried bout the sales. it is because my salary is rm120 a day. so i will feel uneasy if my sale did not overshoot that. but thank God!! fri was 200+ sat was 500+ and sunday was 900+!!! can you believe it!! and the product ranged from rm1 to rm10 only!!!! haha.. hope this week's sale will be better or if not remained.

then all my colleagues are very friendly. even on the first day, it seemed that we had known each others for years. and they even asked me bout christianity but it WAS VERYYYY difficult for me to explain in cantonese. lol. one was even a soka gakai, but not lee mei's friend. then on girl, 19 looks like chai huey so MUCHHHH!!!! the look and also the voice!! even the way they talk and their behaviour are the same!!! when i told her this, she asked which among the 2 (she and chai huey) is not their parents ''chan sang lui''. haha... since i said they are sooo alike.

ok. i guess this has been very long. ja ne!! see you.

Ice Cream-yummy??? or.. yucky??

hmpphh.. referring to the post before this, should i have not have posted it??? will it actually be better?? but well.. like what i always think, ''the pathway of a relationship never runs smooth'' (note- in my life the word ''gf'' does not exists- hence pls dont be so ''kolot'' and thinks that those ''mushy muchy'' poroverbs and words are only for gf bf relationship-ermm... why did i bother to explain ah?? i also dont know.. watever...)

so maybe thru this incidence, the frenship will grow?? towards wat end?? we never know. wat i know is this- this ''ice cream''' hasnt melt and though it may not as fresh (forget the word sweet) as last time, it will still remain in the freezer i guess. haha...

well... we will see.. in a few years time... how would you know?? maybe, it will be me myself (purposely) melt the ice cream with a hair dryer.. lol. i doubt more than 2 will ever fully understand this post

The Best Of Frens Will Part.....=(

by the title of this post, i guess you will know wat i will be talking about. well, i know that i am a guy, and such small things as this should leave no impact in my life. but, as all my frens know, i am more sensitive and i treasure frenship veryyyyyy much. (maybe thats y most of my best frens are girls-for most guys, there is no such things)

so, after leaving secondary school, we parted and went each way. we had known each other for about 7 years now. same primary school and secondary school. though we had some misunderstandings before, we ended up frens again. and he is part of the reason i remain at smk sri permata last time. coz among other guys, i find that i am most compatible with him, and i can chat with him bout anything. of coz, teachers have been our favourite topic (accompanied by sathis)

so, i can say that he is also one of my best frens, and a very special one too. how glad i am that he is here, for he is like my teacher too. will ask him watever i dont understand. then, though the journey of our frenship happens mostly in school, (just went out with him a few times-and he forbid me to go to his hs -unlike the other best fren) i find that this frenship is veryyy worth keeping, very worth reminiscing.

and guess wat? i thought that this frenship will last longer compared to the other one, since..(forget the reasons). that we will keep on keep in touch... chat.. laugh.. joke...

after school he was also among the few who kept in touch with me. and i still enjoy msn (he used to be the one i enjoy talking to) with him. bout pn lee, everything back then.

but.. till recently, it seems that as the proverb goes, ''the best of frens must part''.... i felt that we are and will be no longer wat we used to be. the frenship has sort of falter away... he changed.. (maybe me too, i dont know) and it seems that he IS beginning to be like my the other best fren. (and pls!! one of that is ENOUGH. i wont want another.)

he is no longer THE HIM i knew. everything changed.. and i still remmember last year, when i asked him.. ''will you change?? it seems that everyone, teachers all said that once you entered college, you will change'' and he gave me an assuring no, which relieved me.

but... i dont know.... has he always been like this from the beginning?? or.... i am really, really, depressed......can we ever be best frens again?? i really wonder...maybe, whats left will just be memoirs....

Lost Some, Gain Some

well, now i got no mood to write bout my new experience i mentioned earlier.. haha... anyway, its nothing interesting. now i will talk bout my fateful encounter with 4 guys at mcd on sometime in the middle of march...

i went to pj and as usual, i had to go some where to lepak while waiting fot my bro to finish his class to come and fetch me back klang. so i went to mid valley since his class is around there.

i am not a shopping person, neither a window shopper. so i jsut walked aimlessly, to the gardens... etc while waiting for time to pass. i was not hungry, and so initially i dont plan to have dinner. but... as i walk, i happened to pass by mcd. and an urge rushed in..'' erm..i said i dont want to eat.. but... should i just go and eat??'' finally, i decided to just eat, since if my mom knows that i din eat, she will ''kill'' me.

so, i ordered the ayam goreng mcd (and could you believe it? they have no more spicy!!!! i dislike original) then went to have a seat (i was alone. no fren want to accompany me. sob) i sat near the entrance when i felt i wanted to change place. i hate ppl staring at me while i eat.

so, i moved to the seats at the back, near the sink. i was beginning to eat, when....2 men suddenly just rose up from their seats nearby and came to me. the first thought that came into mind was they were another salesperson. trying to talk me into something.

but, i was soooo wrong. guess wat they are trying to ''promote'' instead?? christianity!!!! they showed me a booklet and they invited me to their church in kl. they just gently asked me to come whenever i am free, just to have a look.

then... i was so dumbfounded. but nonetheless, i took the booklet, and (oh yah, i remembered. it was the monday after easter) i told them that i am myself a christian... and i said i have my own church.

then, they asked me for my handphone number, and said maybe one day, we can just come out to mamak and yum cha. but i refused to give my hp number, ( no matter wat, they are still strangers..)

then they said nvm, and they went back to their table, just in front of mine. and guess wat they were doing???? they are reading bible and having discussion!!! i was quite shocked, but happy at the same time.

i continued eating my chickens, while once in a while have a peek at them. i finished my chickens (horrible by the way) and i mustered my courage and rose up, went to their table, and asked them to come to my table to sit

why dd i do so?

1. i can see that they are not fakers anymore
2. if they continue to sit there with nothing on their table, soon the waiter will chase them out
3. i am bored and i want to find some time to pass, so maybe i can just have a chat with them while waiting.

then, as they came to my table ( they looked shocked also, for they dont know why i asked them come over (lol), 2 of their frens arrived with food. i was so humiliated, to be frank. haha.. i guessed wrongly.

anyway, both of the newcomers came to my table and we introduced ourselves. then,had a small chat, then they excused themselves to another table, for their intention that day was to have a group discussion.

haha.. i continued finishing up my drink and fries, while just reading a book there. malas to walk redi. then they finished their discussion and came to my table again, and we talked, the leader (its obviuos) asked me bout myself and then we exchanged hp numbers. hahaha...

now, isnt this a funny encounter?? but all the same, i know it that this is not mere lucky, or coincident encounter, but God's plan for mme to know these new 4 brothers-in-Christ. i am myself ovverjoyed, for i really have jsut a few christian frens. and not to add that they are the very religious ones..

i think thats about it. i think i will post a new story involving them soon. ( they invited me to yum cha next tuesday) haha...

Maybe, i will become a Father soon!!!

well, i had a busy day today...(4 april 08) and i had some new experience today!! (or maybe not EXACTLY NEW. the last time was.. ermm..10 years ago??) i went to pj again today.. and went to cf.. and maybe i should share wat they shared there. AND PLS, LEE MEI, DONT SIGH!!!!!!

well, there were 2 volunteers from a program called WORLD VISION to come and explain to us. (and of coz, they are christians too from help college) it was a program where we, as the fortunates one, help to eradicate poverty by helping needy children in poor countries to obtain basic necessities like water, food and education.

this program was founded about 58 years ago, by a certain someone, during the korean war that happened at that time and left many children orphaned. at that time, it started at a mere 5 dollars, and now, after 58 years, this program had spread to bout over 100 countries and helped 100 over million children worldwide.

so, they are now trying to inroduce this to schools by a special program called ''youth for youth'', where students in a group of max 6 or individually help to sponsor one kid by paying rm50 a month for a duration of at least one year.

they also define the word ''poverty''. worldwide, they accept families who spend less than rm4 or 1 dollar a day, as destitute families who are eligible for help. (they further asked how much we spend by just eating a meal during break time)

so, though i am no longer a student there,(if you join in a school, there is also a contest where you make a scrap book bout the child you sponsor and you may win a chance to sengkawang, a place in indon(their target now) to visit your sponsor child!! and experience poverty there) i plan to actually maybe find a group of 6 and sponsor a child.

well, come on. i know that in a year, the amount will be rm600. but do you know that this rm600 is very essential for the growth and future of a child?? and since i am finding 5 more ppl, one ppl need to pay only rm100, and less than rm10 a month. its not expensive wat. of coz, maybe you are will doubt whether is this a cheat scheme or not, but i dont think it is, since its actually quite famous (a few of my frens in cf knew bout it beforehand)

so, if you are interested, pls tell me, and we will help to form a future for that less privileged child.

thanks. (i guess i will continue my experience in new post) =)

look at how poor these chldren are..



and maybe.. if we are to help a little.. this child will grow up to be the man in the pic.(the adult) compare with the time when he is small ( the child)...



hey!! who said its impossible?? who knows.?? the child may be initially white. but after scorched by the sun, malnourished, no shelter, he became like that lah!!!

Everyday in a Day

I am back! well, since i have some free time, maybe i will just continue blogging... till who knows when. then hopefully, kongy and lee mei will keep their promise and wont tell others bout my blog. but, of coz, if it involves ppl like chai huey, choon mei and our group, i will not care bout it. haha..

why i dont want others to view?? a good question. coz this blog will covers only my life and i think it wont really interest others. so wats the use of telling them??

ermm.. let me talk bout my feeling now. this whole day, i felt quite ''empty''. i got my license, my school havent start, no work till 18, and so, basically, my activites involve mostly internet and ps2. haha.. boring rite?? thats y i AM RELYYYY loooing forward to May. sigh, it seems so long more....

if possible, i would just like to zap April away. i would like to do so, but there will be a few important events taking place in april. birthdays... homecoming... etc. anyway, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE for time to just fly like that.

i wanted to hang out with frens also. but either they are working, or studying, or there is even one in singapore already, or busying. haiz. and my circle of frens is not really large, to say the truth. i am not really a sociable person who can just say ''wats sup man'' to any stranger i meet in a registration office. (talking bout this, maybe i should share how i got to know 4 new frens whom just came to my table in mcd.lol)

and, another problem. hanging out needs money. and i am almost broke after completing my whole driving course.( i paid most myself)

then... msn?? haiz!!! i dont rely enjoy talking to strangers and all my best frens are always so busy, its hard to chat with them. (besides one...)
haha...

i guess thats all for now.

forgiveness?? revenge?? ermm...

well, the blog before this,(refer to frens froever part 2) is completely a joke to introduce my two girlbestfrens. hopefully they will forgive me!!! no harm meant!! anyway, one of them, the chicken eater(she really lovvess chinken!! maybe i should deliver a chicken to her in singapore for her to forgive me. she has been one of the best frens who is still sticking to me!! (pls.. dont let your imagination runs wild)

she has been a very good fren. and left many unforgetable moments for me. INCLUDING ONE (MORE ACTUAALY) EMBARASSING INCIDENTS!! ermm... oh my goodness!! can you believe that they MANAGED to talk me into taking a pic, with 2 packets of nasi lemak on my chest!!!! thank God that pic been destroyed (i guess? or is it with her??) and its my birthday! surely an unforgetable one!! and ....i think one incident is enough. spare me the embarassment...

Frens Forever (is it??) Part 2

then let me introduce the female monkeys... leaded by.. the infamous...cheeky... monkeyish... lee mei!!! (a special monkey who LOVES chicken!!





and then.. the vegetarian monkey!!! (erm.. but i sure dont know whether banana is her favourite fruit. i never offer her any before. may give it a try one day) lol





so, to guys out there!! i am pleased to say that those two monkeys areeeeee SINGGLLEE anddd AVVAILLABLLEEE!!! anyone interested can contact me and i can make appointment! such a deal at only RM 99.99!! wow! such a bargain!! (note: first come first serve. offer valid while MONKEYS last!!) so, GRAB oNE today!!

however, this offer is only for handsomes (pls look at the mirror first ah..thx for your cooperation!!) or i will be in DEEPPPP TROUBLE...!!!! (

Frens Forever ((is there such a thing?? )Part 1

hi! hi! ermm.. hopefully the other me wont come out again!! well, hmpph.. let me think wat i can share... recently, i feel really bored! and to say the truth, i wish i am back in school. back to the old good time. back to smk sri permata, the school which i was bonded to for 5 years.

2006 and 07 were the best!! skipping classes... jumping over the walls... running from the discipline teacher... burn my report card... throw chalks at teachers... scribbling the toilets.. sharing cigarretes.. these were the things i NEVER did!! and thats wat made those years so great!!!! (at least i din do 99% of wat i said) lol

i cant stop reminisce the moments!!! and one thing i treasure very much is my friendship with a bunch of (erhem*) MONKEYS!! (i first intended to say fools, but...) lol. and to think that one of those monkey is a PERVERT!!! -_- just take a look at this pic and you can see just by the look!!! haha.. (no offense) =)




then... i guess this is to be continued. it took me so long to upload an image. haiz. donno its my computer problem or wat, ok. so long.

The First Cry As a Signal to Those Out There

Here i am again..exposing myself to this insecure and dangerous world. here i am.. pondering again...upon the same ol' question.. what is and is the purpose of me being here?? for i am but just a vagabond, with no permanent home, searching for the unsearchable, desiring the undesirable.. do i ever have the right to exist here..?

allow me first to introduce myself, no matter how insignificant, unimportant i may appear to be. i am but just a.. vagabond, and it seems to me that no further explaination nor description is required as those who can and will venture into my world are only those who are and are to hold a place in my wrecking heart.

however, do bear in mind that i am but also a vagabond not only in my being, but also in my characteristics and personalities. therefore, for those who are reading this, i am to remind that you may or may not ever see the ''ME NOW'' ever again...

best regards,
The Solemn One

A New Born Blogger

Hmmpp... well, the first thing that comes into mind is.. should i be born into this world?? or should i just remain in my cocoon, untouched and ''undisturbed''? and knowing that my private's life is at stake here, that is certainly a very good question to consider...

if only that ''little girl'' n ''little boy'' had not been so kpc and kept ''poking'' my shell, i would still be in deep slumber, n need not be born at all. but.. well.. maybe it's fate.

So.. behold.. for before you will be the true life of a vagabond, and a unique one too, with all journeys empirically ''blogged''.....